Life is/isn't fair: Two faces of life

Have you ever wondered how would it feel if we are looking for our missing loved one for a long time? Have you ever soothed by the glowing smile on a child's face? 

Yes. It was today that my heart stumbled with sorrow when a man shared his most languishing story containing himself being in the snares of drugs and meanwhile his search for his missing father goes in vein. On the other hand I was at the baptism of four little babies where there was an atmosphere of joy and celebration of family and life. In both of these instances my sense of wonder wandered with utmost sympathy for the first one and my heart was overjoyed at the tender smile of the toddlers. 

Let me explain: The man who is in his 20s was an ambitious ever green person. His dream of becoming an actor in the East Enders (TV series in the UK) was shattered when he found that his father suddenly disappeared from his life at the early 20s. He was extremely worried about his father and set out to look for him. His search went in vein for most of his life. With a little courage left and with bleak hope of his father he goes into consuming drugs. Drugs take on his life and shatters him into pieces. He finds himself in the drudgery of life with umpteen issues that ruin his young life. Life with ambition becomes just a historical data in his life. As he was sharing this extraordinary testimony his eyes were soaked with tears and soon the tears rolled down his cheek and soaked his whole face. He had a father who would dry his tears but now he is left without a father. Will he find his father one day? Will his search yield fruit? Will his father come and dray his tears? Will stop taking drugs? These questions just remain a future possibilities. 

Second instance, I was at the baptism of four tiny kids. As the priest said the prayers the kids were overjoyed with the whole paraphernalia of celebration. The parents and guardians showed a tremendous joy and hope on their faces. Children to be baptised were applauded by the congregation as the sign of acceptance into the community. This is a wonderful gesture that we need children and God loves the children. They are the future of our nation. As certain philosopher said, child is the father of man, we have a responsibility for our children until they are mature enough to stand on their own. When I see children I feel only one thing that God still loves the world. He cannot be loving us any better than just grant us and our earth with more human species. We will continue to grow on this earth. Many people, races, tribes and kingdoms have passed this world but human being never extinct unlike other animals. Why does this happen, biologically or scientifically we can give myriad explanations with proper proofs but the ultimate truth is God loves the world therefore he makes the couple to bear children. In other words he gives the authority to the parents through the gift of marriage to bring forth the creation and continue tot grow day by day. Therefore we have every reason to rejoice at the joy and smile these little innocent children bring to our sad, battered, war-stricken world. 

These two contrasting experiences have taught me to be more sensitive to the anguish of the other and be attentive and acknowledge that God loves us and he will continue to love us forever. We shall try to be more sensitive to the people who are addicted to drugs. We cannot condemn them but we cannot condone them either. We have to seek a way to relate to them and make them not use the drugs and lead a life worthy of living. We have every reason to praise the thank God for the gift of life for each and every one us including Stephen Hawkins. Whether we believe or reject God but life is something we cannot create. It is God's gift to the couple who are prepared to raise the child in this universe. 

JOB INTERVIEW: A Time of Joy and Sorrow

Have you ever been turned down a job after a decisive and nerve wrecking interview? What will be the sentiment of a person who has been refused a job after a hectic interview? 

Well, I had an opportunity to witness an interview for a job. There were ten enthusiastic candidates for one job. All of them had to present themselves with their best presentation ever in order to advertise their own potentials and expertise. One of the candidates who I saw from afar looked calm in the interview but an opaque nerviness hurled her wonderful smiling face. I am sure the three interviewers might have noticed this. I could see a longing in her eye for that job. Firstly her whole body language sent a message to the interviewer, 'please please give me this job' secondly her eyes cried out without tears sending out vibrations of cry to give that job and thirdly her whole might and energy went out of her through the presentation she had prepared whole heartedly. The interviewers might have questioned her abilities and talents in order to select a best candidate. The interviewee in turn given her 100% to convince the panelists that she is the one they are looking for. 

I am reminded of my own job interview in July 1997 in Mangalore for a small post as attender in a office that belonged to the University of Mangalore. It was called Chair in Christianity. The priest who interviewed me was very lenient towards to me because I could present myself well with all my limited knowledge of work and innocence. The first question he asked me was "how are you today?" which eased my tension to a large extent. I am nervous to the core but I hid my nervousness behind a facade that helped me to showcase bold side of me. The priest who interviewed was very good person. He had a special consideration to the people who come from remote villages who came to city for a job. All the more I was due to study during the evening my A Levels and work as an attender during the day at his office. This impressed and amazed the priest that I was going to study and work. This secured me a job of an attender in his office. The second part of the interview was to explain the work I was supposed to do. I was so very happy. I spent my first salary in getting something special for my parents but I hardly knew what special thing made them happy because they were very simple people. I just bought some nice Apples for them, which is quite rare for us in the village. This actually did not make them happy because they wanted me to save my money for my own studies. I then started saving my money for my own studies according to their wish. I worked at Chair in Christianity for a year after which I went to study during the day.

All of us have some experience of attending a job interview. Some of us are just lucky to get job and fortunate to secure a career out of that job. But some people are not just lucky enough to pass the interview and get disappointed in life. Most people who fail the interview feel rejected and feel dejected in life. They feel their abilities have been underestimated. This feeling might grow into a continual frustration in life and at last a time will come when they cannot take it anymore rather just give up in life. This frustration might lead one to conclude that this life is not worth living. Have we ever felt this? Dear friends it is this time that we have to pick up bits and pieces of life and start anew, may be from the scratch. It is that this time we have to say to ourselves that this job is not meant for me, there is someone better than I am. It is that this time we have to sit back and think what is next rather just beating our breasts in frustration. Our frustration might earn us a big reward. Every failure is a stepping stone to success. When a hundred time Edison failed to get the results out of his experiment in light bulb, he said they are not failure but they are just a hundred things that I cannot make a light bulb. Thus he succeeded in his unprecedented revolution in creating light bulb.  

Job interview is a like a sport, one has to perform one's best with one's utmost energy and skill; one might win or might lose because the opponent is better than I am. A good sportsman or sportswoman would not give up rather; practice more in order to prove better than other. Hence we can win with due practice and a sense of patient perseverance. 

Happy Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
...
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.♥

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore.♥ Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.♥
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Source: Facebook

Murder of Father Darke: A versatile Jesuit priest in Guyana

The year before, in May 1979, the Working People's Alliance (WPA), a small anti-PNC political pressure group, which was making inroads into the PNC Afro-Guyanese support, declared itself a political party with the primary aim of removing the PNC from power. The WPA, of which Dr. Walter Rodney, a renowned Third World scholar and historian, was recognized as leader, worked very closely with the PPP in organizing the referendum boycott and in agitating against the PNC, even though it expressed tactical differences with the PPP in carrying out the struggle against the regime.

On the morning of July 11, 1979, the building housing the Ministry of National Development and the Office of the General Secretary of the PNC and the GUYSUCO building next to it were destroyed by fire. The government claimed that the fire was deliberately set and that the watchmen had been tied up and transported across Georgetown to a suburb on the East Coast, by men dressed in army uniforms. 

Subsequently, Dr. Rodney and other leading WPA members, Bonita Harris, Kwame Apata, Maurice Odle, Omawale, Rupert Roopnaraine, Karen, de Souza, Walter Rodney and Davo Nandlall, were questioned by the police and subsequently charged with arson.

On the morning of 14 July 1979, the WPA leaders, charged with arson, appeared at the Georgetown Magistrate Court on Brickdam to answer the charge. A WPA-organized protest demonstration was mounted outside the court and numerous press photographers were observing and snapping pictures. Among them was Father Bernard Darke, a Roman Catholic priest, who also took photos for the weekly Catholic Standard, and was also a high school teacher at the St. Stanislaus College located just across the street from the Magistrate Court. 

Fr. Darke, taking his cameras with him, had gone to the college that morning and he took some shots of the WPA demonstration outside the Magistrates’ Court and returned to the college. Shortly after, the WPA leaders, after being granted bail, were transported in a police van to the Camp Street prison where the police planned to release them away from the crowds. 

The WPA demonstrators marched with their pickets along Brickdam behind the van and, as they passed the college, Fr. Darke came out on the street to snap more photographs. Suddenly, as the demonstrators passed the Brickdam Police Station, they were attacked by a group of young men, carrying staves, cutlasses and knives. The assailants were members of the House of Israel. To escape the brutal attack, the demonstrators ran in all directions with many running into yards opposite the Police Station.

As people were attacked by the House of Israel thugs, Fr. Darke took photographs of what was happening. Then three of the gang turned on him and beat him with staves. As he ran towards the street corner, one of them then stabbed him with a bayonet in the back. Mike James, a journalist, and Jomo Yearwood, a bauxite worker, were also seriously wounded in separate attacks. Plainclothes policeman appearing on the scene fired two shots in the air to scatter the thugs and quickly made some arrests. 

The police took Fr. Darke to the Georgetown Public Hospital, where he was given immediate attention. He was later transferred to the St. Joseph’s Mercy Hospital and operated on by two surgeons to repair his damaged lung. However, at around 6:00 pm he died. 

Subsequently, five men, all members of the House of Israel, were convicted in court for carrying dangerous weapons during their attack. However, they were given barely minimum fines. One of them, Bilal Ato, who stabbed Fr. Darke was charged with murder. His trial came up three years later and he pleaded “not guilty of murder” but “guilty of manslaughter.” He was eventually sentenced by Justice Pompey to eight years in prison.


Courtesy: Guyana Journal: http://www.guyanajournal.com/guyana_1978-1980.html

Rastafarian's Zion Vs Babylon

A tall man with a cap that held the locks on his hair bemused me with his convinced knowledge about Rastafarianism. He claimed that he is an Ethiopian Orthodox and a Rastafarian. He challenged my faint knowledge about them with his pharisaic question to investigate my disposition towards them. I knew what exactly he was trying to extract from me. We spoke about lot of things, particularly about Catholicism in which he was baptised as an infant but unfortunately he found his way into a radical movement of the Ethiopian Orthodoxy. He was absolutely convinced that Haile Selassie I the emperor of Ethiopia (1930-74) is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ or the Trinity in the world. He expanded this by several bible quotes as usual particularly from the Book of Revelations, "And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed a hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel" (7:4). Jesus would return and inscribe his name on chosen ones' foreheads and Haile Selassie is on of them; a second coming of Christ or the coming of the holy spirit. He also tried to enlighten me about the Ethiopian Orthodoxy.

The Ethiopian Orthodoxy believes in two concepts Zion which is a good place and that is Ethiopia and Babylon which is the West which is evil kingdom. Their basis for the argument that Jesus is a black goes right back to the Old Testament where King Solomon has the queen from Sheba or Ethiopia. All the descendants from there have come from Ethiopia so did Jesus. Zion is promised land which is good thus they reject the Western world naming it Babylon which is corrupt. 

Rastafarian is movement began in Jamaica around the same year as the Emperor of Ethiopia came to power in 1930. Most Rastafarian would say that this not a religion rather its a way of life. This movement began from the Jamaican black slave culture. I was trying to figure out why do they reject the Western World. The only palpable reason I can think of for this is, Jamaican black slaves were under the oppression of British rule. They were taken slaves and treated with utmost inhuman way. This must have been a solid reason why they reject the Western World and proclaim as corrupt under the rubric of "Babylon". This is my opinion and not necessarily right. I am just proposing a premise which can be debated. Rejection of the Western world by the black community as corrupt is the apparent consequence of the long painful oppression by the powerful western domination. This can be the reason why even today black community has a certain enmity towards the white and this normal. I am sure it is far better than it used to be but as the years go by it will heal and one day the whole world sees each other brothers and sister. This is my dream too. 

There is awful lot of things that we can know about Rastafarians and the Ethiopian Orthodoxy. I just wanted to share my little knowledge about them in my blog. Oh by the way, the Rastafarian who challenged me as aforementioned became good friend of me later. They are lovely people if at all we have time to listen to them. They want to be listened and cared for as every one of us does. Can we just include them in our minds as brothers and sisters belonging to the family of human beings. 

Do we have time for Joshua Bell at Metro Station

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle-aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. Several other children repeated this action. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was they’re any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Source: The Washington Post

Are you good OR Evil? A Discovery into psychopath killers

Browsing the TV channels to find a fitting programme, came across a revealing and a pristine programme on BBC Two named "Are you good or Evil?" I found it extremely interesting with some of the new discoveries in the field of moral psychology. Main issue that I gathered from it was, why do behind bars killers and psychopaths succumb to violence? 

Children are born with good morality. Despite their limited growth of the brain, they choose good impulses as opposed to the bad impulses which is true. If a child discovers that someone is in pain, its basic impulse leads the child to show sympathy and affection. For instance if mother is sick, child does feel sympathy but it won't be able show the sympathy like adults. Thus the scientists in California have proved with few experiments that Children usually choose good moral impulses. 

The concept of "warrior genes" are present in some of the people. They are innate and genetic. But in the case of marines these warrior genes are trained and motivated. No marine or any humans would like to kill another human but marines are trained to posses these 'warrior genes' which makes them 'bloodless' humans who will be ready to kill the opponents. This may be the same case with the team sports. The team has to be trained to posses these warrior genes in order to fight against their opponent team. Therefore in this circumstances these genes are inflicted. In the process they loose their basic moral impulse they had in their childhood. Could we place terrorists and suicide bombers in this category where they are trained in warrior genes? 

Scientist Prof. Jim Fallon learns from an extensive experiments with the psychopaths from the behind bars that the violent criminals and psychopaths have or inherit "warrior genes" by birth. They are unique people with some little impulsive disorder. These warrior genes take priority in their lives. Their genes feed on the abuses and bad experiences these children have in their childhood. And they grow to be violent with having nourished their warrior genes. This triggers their brain to act in a different manner. They don't feel but they think. Any feeling is the same feeling for this, whether its rape, or a table, its the same. This is an extraordinary problem which leads them to act violently event to the extreme of killing other fellow humans. If at all they had been treated well in their childhood they would have turned out to be good people as it happened to the scientist Jim himself who is supposed be having a warrior gene but he was well taken care of in his childhood. 

Criminal activities or violence is done not from their free will. As hitherto mentioned through their difficult upbringing the free will vanishes and warrior gene dominates. This ultimately takes over their lives leading them to commit criminal acts. Therefore as children they have to be care for with utmost tenderness and love. The "warrior gene"s have to be treated in the sense recognised by some means and treated appropriately. 

Hence we have to understand why people are behind bars. Do we think they really want to be behind bars and not experience the light? Do we think that they have murdered or raped because they really wanted to be? I think above scientific discovery will throw much light on the afore mentioned questions. This will pave a path to proper criminal justice system and judge according to their ability to commit the crime not just the act of crime. Parents have to be more careful in handling their tender children.