Anger

Anger is measured by the aftermath effects. Humans can show emotions of getting mad at someone or something. Many have gotten mad while driving, such as traffic lights, someone cutting into your lane, ignoring indications and so on. This can be so frustrating while we rush to reach our destination on time. Why do we get mad at someone? Do we have to get mad? We have every right to get mad at someone who is harmful to us and to others. Anger is a normal emotion or feeling that is an integral part of the human psyche. It is natural for any human to feel anger.

What triggers anger? There can be many triggers to anger. We can feel anger when we are treated unfairly by our family, people at the workplace, society and the universe. This trigger activates our emotions of frustration and then leads to anger. We might be angry with time and pressure at deadlines. When we fail to meet deadlines, our anger mode can be triggered. The feeling of hurt can obviously trigger anger. The threat to self-esteem or ego can be the recipe to anger. Discrimination can also create a feeling of an upset in us. We might be upset with most of the “isms” such as racism, capitalism, socialism and so on. There might be many more triggers to anger in our lives. These triggers are personal, and we must figure out what are my triggers to anger. It is important to identify triggers of anger to deal with anger. Thus, the first step is to find out what is my trigger or what triggers my anger? What makes me angry most often?

Anger is that part of the age-old fight or flight response to the threat. Most animals use this response whilst posed with the threat. The consequence of anger plays a significant part. In other words, the behaviour of anger is worth addressing than the feeling of anger itself. Anger can be a motivational drive or assertive anger to do something better for society and on the hand, anger can be destructive or behavioural anger if it executed to harm others and ourselves. To site traffic example again, if one is upset about the traffic and is triggered to drive recklessly, it can cause harm or be pulled over by police. In this example, one could not avoid the feeling of anger but could avoid reckless driving. In conclusion, anger is complex to discuss but it is worth exploring our own personal anger triggers and how one manages these triggers. Anger is good and not good depending on what is a result. Each of us must know our capacity to feel and execute anger.  

Prejudice

Martin Luther King Jr said, “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.” Prejudice is nothing but an opinion without evidence. It is disheartening when one is judged based on some preconceived ideas that are embedded in the human brains. These ideas are not proven but can cause enormous damage to the victim of prejudice. Human prefrontal cortex stores and expels the messages that are not properly aligned with the evidence.

The movie ‘the blind side’ is the perfect example to show how prejudice against stout people was damaging but also is a perfect example of going against the prejudice to be successful in sports despite stoutness. In this movie, the stout boy was bullied and told he is good for nothing, so he believed in it. But his stepmother makes him disbelieve so that he can be a famouSportsterer. There always a tendency to believe what others say about us even though it is not proven to be true. This believe of prejudice can stifle our growth and eventually might ruin our lives.

Prejudice is fueled by belief can ruin a person to the ruts. Prejudices are often transmitted for a specific agenda. A person might be subject to prejudice so that his agenda can be met. Conviction of a prejudice takes place for a wrong reason. In our society, there are prejudices against women, children, people of color, men, uneducated, sick, old people and so on. The prejudices must be treated as prejudices until they are proven to be true. Do not allow yourself to be pressed down by prejudices rather treat them as decorated gossips. Prejudices are almost always not true. They are detrimental to the growth of a person. They can also be fueled by bullying, cat-calling, gossips, bad-talking, back-biting, doctrines and propaganda. If you can’t prove it, shove it. In conclusion, if you are subject of prejudice, firstly, look for proofs and then only believe or disbelieve. We must allow ourselves to be suppressed by another person’s agenda. Opinions cannot be treated as truth unless they are proved to be true. Our memories of prejudices can be painful and ruin our lives, hence, it is significant to check our memories. On the other hand, we shall not believe and involve in prejudices rather let us be truthful. 

Love

C.S. Lewis in his book ‘The four loves’ talks about four kinds of human love; affection, friendship, erotic love and love of God. The author discusses the benefits and dangers of these four loves. Each one is significant for human development yet can be destructive if it is not understood as it should. Human experience has taught us that we look, fall and remain in love. Love unites and keeps this universe together. Hence, love is truly an attribute of God because God is love.

Every human being has experienced love from another human being. Love from family and friends are the key to our existence. When two young people fall in love, they become codependent on each other, in other words, they lean on each other. There will be the devastating impact of fall when one is taken out of the support. There must be two persons to lean on each other. This can be applied to family members. Many people feel devasted when their beloved drop them halfway. They feel no sense of meaning in life and no one to lean on.

Are we love ready? This is coming from God for God is love and we are loveable. There is not condition such as I am loveable only if I am perfect. We are worthy of love for we have created to love each other. This is almost true for every human. Every human is loveable not because of perfection. It is humans put conditions to love. There is also an aspect of falling in love where human falls in love with another human. This is the natural design of God. In this, we are in limerence where love is transitional. We are either confirmed or unconfirmed in love. For instance, I can leave a person if something happens or does happen. One must be careful here to grow in love or grow out of love. Being in love is paramount in every human love. In this, we make the choice to be in love or out of love. If we stay in love, we go deeper in love. Hence, there will be an unconditional love between two humans. In conclusion, we examine our lives of love. Love can be beautiful when it is selfless, and it can be dangerous when it is selfish. Let us know that we are loveable because God is love and let us try to be in love with a deeper love. 

Happiness

Wiseman once told me, ‘we can be happy when we conquer ourselves and not the world and we can be happy because we love the world and not ourselves’. It is almost by default humans can portray a strong dichotomy between our inner and outer self. Humans have the ability not to show our inner self. Happiness is the expression of our inner self or soul. It is true that only our pillow knows whether we are happy or not. The fundamental question is ‘what is that makes my inner self-comfortable?’ Therefore, happiness is truly experienced from within oneself. Can a person be considered happy when he smiles and laughs with others?

In this consumeristic world, happiness means stimulating our senses. This is portrayed by consumer advertisements such as ‘a way of true happiness’ or ‘you deserve to be happy’ or ‘your happiness is our goal’ etc. We are enveloped in a consumeristic world where we are told what to do to be happy. We are fall prey for these empty promises in the false premise of happiness. Therefore, happiness is limited to only sensuality and not the integrity of the human being.

Material things can give us comfort and a comfortable life can give us happiness. On the other hand, minimum material things also can give us comforts and hence happiness. For some family can give happiness and for others, the family might be a place of sadness. Given these above experiences of life, we can say that happiness is relative, and it can differ to everyone. Although there are fancy definition and steps to happiness, there is no magic formula to happiness. Happiness is measured by how comfortable your soul or inner self is. This is known to you only and only you can show your happiness to others. Mature people know their source of happiness and they can feel that true happiness in the inner sanctuary of life. Happiness also can be a long run or short run. It can differ each day and each year. In conclusion, it is important to search for happiness within than without. We must make our inner self the sanctuary of happiness and from this sanctuary, we can emulate happiness. Our inner self will be our true self because we do not always show our true feelings in our outer self. Lastly, let us sit back in a quiet zone and feel our inner self to probe our happiness. This is an art and must be practised especially in our noisy world. 

Failure

Lao-Tsu said, “to see things in the seed, that is genius.” Parents wish that their children succeed in life and they also wish that they do even better than them. Parents see the potential in their children. Most children work hard to meet these expectations of their parents. When the children fail in the expectations, parents also feel a sense of failure. What is a failure? Is failure good? What does failure teach us? Most people have the experience of failure in their lives. Some have failed perpetually and other have turned around from the failure.

Those who have gotten low grades in school years will recall the disappointment and shame that accompanied it. But most people have taken this failure in school grades as a stepping stone to do better in the next tests. This is a perfect example of failure and success. Teachers in schools help the students not to remain in one failure rather push them to do better. The shame of low grades has propelled many students to fair well. Red grades have helped many to soar to a height of success.

Failure is a temporary setback. It is significant to move forward when we fail rather than crying over spilt milk. Failure is a negative state of life which keeps us on guard. It is in failure we experience sadness, shame, guilt, hopelessness, depression and every negative quality. This is a common human experience but remaining on negative experience can be detrimental to our lives. Failure must truly be stepping stone to success. Ask any successful person, what failure means to them. Almost all would tell us that failure has taught them to be strong and believe in oneself. Human experience must teach to be better humans. Failure one trait that would help us to thrive towards success. In conclusion, failure can be our daily bread, but we must look for proper support systems which will help us to thrive. In failure, we must be strong and not give in to bad traits of life. Where do we go when we fail? We must find good people who can help us sail through the rough sea. Therefore, failure is the vehicle that can be steered where it could go and where it must not go. The person in failure has to work on steering towards thriving. 

Prayer of Child Abuse Victim

Lord, thou heard my languish of heart-wrenching pain

I cried to heaven yet my cry was silenced 

Thou silence quietened cry of my pain

Ignored have I walked alone.

Oh God, I never stopped outcrying 

The more I kept quiet, the more it got louder

My outcry was louder than the measures put to silence it

I thought my heart is deaf or Thou are mumbling 

At last, Lord of the pain heard my outcry

Painful outcry overpowered the might cover-up

Lord, I thank you for divine intervention 

Yet again, you showed us on which side you stand

Continue to listen to the painful languish 

Bring justice to the little ones of the world.

 Amen

(Inspired by the letter written by the Pope as a response to the child abuse grand jury report)

Crow raises the bar

It was fascinating to read in the New York Times on 19 August about crows are being trained to clean up the park in France. The crows are trained to pick up cigarette buds from the park and dash it in the bin. The trainer has six crows which are brought in a box to the park and sent to clean up the park and as a reward, they are given a piece of cheese. This might look like animal abuse or work but crows like to play. The trainer opined that it is a play for the crows and in fact they enjoy doing it. He also says that it is to make people guilty that they should clean the park, not the crows. 

While this fascinated me, I wondered how animals can be taught to do something good like this and they do it faithfully. Of course, crows are considered to be intelligent birds. Do you think they are more intelligent than humans? Then why humans don't clean up but mess up the park? Humans also need to be taught even though humans are intelligent beings. What is taught to humans is important but soon taken for granted or can be influenced by other factors such as this, not our park or I didn't dirty the park and so on?

Animals also have a degree of belonging to nature hence they can feel with nature. If they feel nature is not suitable or habitable they migrate to a better habitable place in nature. They are close to nature than humans. It is important that humans take some cues from animals so that our nature is protected and kept clean. In fact, humans need nature more than animals because most animals can migrate from one place to the other without much difficulty. But humans cannot migrate so easily for there are more constraints of migrating.