Divorce in the Church: an emerging concern

I have had an interesting conversation with a divorced Catholic who has ceased to go to Church based on two commonly and long standing opinion in the Church, namely, divorce is sin which impacts the exclusion for the communion and a feeling of guilt and shyness to face the so called righteous people on the pews. She has been grappling with this situation for number of years. As a good Christian my immediate advice to her is to welcome her to the church communion. But that does not satisfy her long held believe about sin and divorce.

The Catholic Church is faced with this reality of divorce and remarriage. The Church has been criticised for being liberal and for being too conservative; that makes the task of the Church ever harder. The church is evolving with taking on board the current realities of life. If the Church imposed strict sanctions on the divorcees and remarried persons, they will shy away from the faith, that dissipated the primary goal of evangelization of bringing the kingdom of God. Pope Francis has been on the wheel to take this forward by sending out a questionnaire in view of the upcoming Synod on Family in October. Most people would have felt that the Church must welcome the divorced and remarried into the communion because if God wants it, who are we to stop it. Having said that, this must encourage the faithful to take advantage of the goodness of the Church. Hope this will be foreseen in the Synod on Family, where there will be an extensive discussion and reflection on the pros and cons of allowing divorced and remarried to the Communion.

 Theologian and Cardinal Walter Kasper reassured in an interview that the Church is of sinners and we are all sinners. He said, “There are those who believe the Church is for the pure. They forget that the church is also a church of sinners. We are all sinners. And I am happy that’s true because if it were not then I would not belong to the church. It’s matter of humility.”

The church for me is like a mother. A mother will always love her children. That means whatever she does with the children is with love. She will embrace the children, she will shout at children, she will show a long face on her children, but this is all done in love not with hatred of shunning the children away. A mother will never ever abandon her children or disown her own children. When one of her children is erred and returns home, a mother will always welcome them with an open arm. Is not same with the Church? If Church is instituted by Jesus, and Jesus welcomed people of all sorts, particularly sinners; Jesus ate with the sinners. Hence, it is preposterous when someone who is presumably righteous says that divorced and remarried cannot be in communion with the church. This will make them feel the brunt of life even more.

Our God is a forgiving God, not a God who keeps grudges. Our God is a welcoming God without any discrimination based on status in life. The church doors must be open for all sorts of people because God can touch anyone anytime, God can choose anyone anytime. In fact, we as church need to reach out to the broken people because Jesus came not for the righteous but for the sinners.

Can they receive communion? That is hard question to answer, but someone has to answer, may be the Synod on Family might come out with a brilliant light to that question. The Synod might focus on the aspect of communion as Jesus willingness to enter into receiver and the receiver’s response or the intention to welcome Christ into his life.

An obvious question we can address is, will this reception of the divorced and remarried into the communion belittle the sacrament of matrimony? No, and it must not try to redefine the marriage whatsoever. The threefold feature – that is, unity, exclusivity and indissolubility must be held high. But in our pluralistic situation the church is faced with a huge challenge to maintain the sacredness of marriage. Probably, every member of the Church must think as the body of the Christ and not individual opinions. In the case of the latter, it can be detrimental, as everyone will have his or her own self vested interest in the matter. Therefore, it is significant for all the faithful to think and reflect as to what God wants from a marriage.

From this Moment

My heart marvels from this moment

Look at the wonder of thy creation

Ever consoling chirping of the birds

Soothing perfume emanating forth

Its lovely to feel thy wonder of creation

My heart marvels from this moment

Human person stands at thy door

Send forth me to thy creation

Naked heart cries for thy help

Its good to be in your bosom

My heart marvels from this moment

Its gentle to walk in thy midst

Never tiring beauty so divine

Miles and miles of smiles of life

Its wonderful to stare the mystery of life

My heart marvels from this moment

You comforted me all along

Despite evil struck me down

Suffering struck me with its grandeur

Tribulation covered my soul

My heart marvels from this moment

You became my world in tribulation

My soul longed for your mediation

Momentary pain engulfed my heart

Doubts hovered my whole being

My heart marvels from this moment

Thy comforting bosom so divine

Rejuvenating relief bailed me out

Out into a life worthy to live ever again

Arose a desire to be closer to thee.

My heart marvels from this moment

A new being thou instilled in me

My soul glorifies thee eternally

‘Thank you’, cries our my being

In thy hands I rest now and forever.

This Poem is composed for Mrs Bonita Samson on her Birthday by Jerri Melwin Dias SJ. 

The Joy of Good Friday

It is noteworthy, that people in large numbers flock to the churches on Good Friday. On this day every Christian goes to church to witness the dramatic reading of the Passion of Christ. It is dramatic because it happened several hundreds years ago, but most people witness it as if it is happening at the moment. Some of us feel the extreme brutality done against a just man, who was indeed a saviour; saviour not only in religious terms but he was a saviour for scores of people suffering the atrocities of the powerful in the time of Jesus in Jerusalem.

Have you wondered like me, why do people flock to Church on Good Friday and not for the Easter Vigil? Easter is a significant event in the life of every Christian, because it is through the mystery of resurrection that Jesus Christ accomplishes the mission of saving us from the bondage of sin and death. Why do we stay at Good Friday or we rather prefer to hear Good Friday stories? We remain in that mood of quietness like the disciples post death of Jesus. The one of the most moving liturgies that inspires me is the liturgy of the Good Friday. It is unique in itself, which by and large projects emptiness or a total sadness. It is not only a public show of Jesus suffering death through stations of the Cross but most importantly it is one’s personal connectedness to the suffering and death of Jesus. I have always had this personal connectedness to the event of Jesus’ suffering and death. This is the only event in the life of Jesus that makes my heart cumbersome, and to be blunt, when Jesus utters those last words “It is Finished” that my heart really melts and my eyes water with grief and mourning. This has been my experience right from my childhood. The reading of the passion is the makes me move with compassion for Jesus.

Two important reflections come to my rescue at this point, firstly, we are a suffering humanity hence Jesus’ suffering and death coincides that of our own suffering and death, secondly, we are moved by the ultimate sacrifice that Christ made on Good Friday for the love that he has for the humanity.

Jesus was divine and human; thence there was a certain amount of tension as how He can speak to the humanity. Christ becoming man materialized the Trinitarian work of salvation. Every human person had to go through suffering and death. Every person had to encounter suffering and death; deal with it. Jesus Christ had to speak the language of humanity despite His divine powers which might have made Him a Son of God right away, but then it would not have had a greater impact. He had to struggle right from His childhood to the Cross. Jesus spoke the ultimate human language of suffering and death. Most of us associate our suffering with that of Christ, hence making us to remain at the foot of the Cross and weep. Some prefer to console themselves by comparing one’s sufferings to that of Christ. This helps one to realize that suffering is not always bad, even Christ, the Son of God had to undergo. Probably this makes us empathize with Christ and subsequently helps one to self empathize. Sometimes it is significant to show our suffering then to supress it, may be on Good Friday it is an opportunity to show one’s own suffering to each other. We might not show it forthrightly but when we participate in Christ’s suffering together as community, we try to express that we are not free of suffering. We try to say to each other that we are on the equal scale when it comes to suffering. Therefore, I think we would like to remain at the foot of the Cross, in other words we would like to remain at Good Friday. It might be awkward for someone to smile in a funeral house; hence one might very well prefer to stay with Christ’s suffering and death on the Cross.

In John’s Gospel we hear the last words of Jesus, “it is finished”; what did Jesus meant by that? This is the one phrase of Jesus tingles my spine. The breath of Jesus left his young and energetic body. Did it really finish?

Pope Benedict has a small extract in the book “Jesus of Nazareth,” in the Greek text, this word finished (tetélestai) points back to the very beginning of the Passion narrative, to the episode of the washing of the feet, which the evangelist introduces by observing that Jesus loved his own “to the end (télos)”. This “end”, this ne plus ultra of loving, is now attained in the moment of death. He has truly gone right to the end, to the very limit and even beyond that limit. He has accomplished the utter fullness of love – he has given himself.

It is an ultimate sacrifice of love for his people. He is like the paschal candle burnt him so that we can have light and life. Throughout the Lent we commemorate the suffering and the death of Christ through Stations of the Cross. I have had most spiritually uplifting experiences during the Stations of the Cross. It is a dramatic witnessing of Christ’s love for us. Subsequently it makes me ask this question, am I willing to give my life for someone else? Easier said than done, it is almost impossible for most of us to die the most brutal death for someone else. It is the ultimate gesture of love. Jesus showed through his own example that he gave everything to the humanity, including his own life. “It is finished” is the most assuring words of Jesus, meaning, that Jesus knows that he has accomplished his mission on earth; Christ showed how to love God and love one’s neighbour. That is why we would like to remain on Good Friday, because of the ultimate gesture of Christ’s love for the humanity.

Remaining on Good Friday makes us not sad persons but makes us realize that we take part in Christ’s suffering and death; Christ had to suffer so that we get life. We remain in that experience of love of Christ sacrifice on the Cross.  

My Last Seven Words

Oh my beloved people so close

I cared for thou whist in agony

You kicked me until my heart torn

Still my prayer sustains you

Abba forgive our own blood

They art not knoweth their actions

My soul longs for thou my people

Like a mother yearns to see her baby

Thou art hence precious to me

My paradise greets you

You will be in my paradise always

I created you in my own image

You’re in my wounded heart

My mother is so wonderful

Now she is your mother beloved

I am her son bruised and strewn

My body is torn into pieces

Nails rip through my tender bones

Flog penetrate my flesh

Oh God, I cannot take it anymore

Why have you left me to suffer?

I walked the corners of Jerusalem

My heart cried for the lowly

Hungry and thirsty ate from me

But now I cried for water on the cross

Yet, instead you gave me vinegar

My heart sought you whilst you astray

I gave you a light yoke for you

With me you had all comfort

Why did you give me a heavy Cross-?

I am finished on that cross

I breathed life into the lifeless

My spirit revived thou soul

Beloved, you mounted me on this wood

I cannot breathe anymore

Father, into your hands I commend my spirit

Poem inspired from the last seven words of Jesus on the Cross
Jerri Melwin Dias SJ

Suffering Saviour

You shepherd me oh Lord

When my direction is bleak

Unceasing care covers my heart

Fills my being with refreshing waters

I ask, is this my destiny?

Shepherd turns into lamb

A lamb in the slaughterhouse

Innocent before the slaughterer

Towards a journey so painful

I ask again, is this your way?

An ultimate judge you’re oh Lord

Stand trial amidst devouring supremacies

None to defend innocent lamb

Condemned to a journey to Calvary

I ask yet again, is that what you wanted?

Oh my Lord, you on a painful journey

Bruised and derided beyond dignity

Whipped and stripped like a criminal

Mutilation tears your heart to pieces

I ask once again, how can I be help to you?

Oh Lord, my heart dripping with sorrow

See Christ’s body broken and torn

Hopelessness is the food for homeless

Destitution rips Jesus heart into million pieces

I ask again, how can I doctor your woods?

Oh Lord, you’re abandoned by everyone

You grieve through heart of aging

Christ an abandoned by His own

Elderly left in the rut of sadness

I ask yet again, why have I abandoned Christ?

Oh Lord, you’re so beautiful to me

Your bruising and torn body intact

You’re close to the broken hearted

Come back to darn your body yet again

I ask again, when will you come?

Jerri Melwin Dias SJ
A poem inspired by the stations of the Cross

Lent: A Journey of Love

Many times people ask me as to what have I given up for this Lent? Many Catholics decide to forgo something for the season of Lent; may be meat, alcohol, chocolate, biscuits, smoking and so on. Apart from material forgoing, some make decision to forgo the things that help them to rediscover God in their lives. Why do we do that in the Lent alone? Why can’t we do other time of the year? What makes Lent so significant for the people of God?

Lent is one of the important seasons in the Catholic Liturgical Calendar. It is a season of Grace; a grace poured into our hearts ever since we were born. We grow into an awareness of this grace and renew our relationship with God. In this season we are invited to reflect on our lives and realign our lives towards God. Lent offers us an opportunity to retrospect our commitment to God through prayer, fasting, almsgiving and penance. We acknowledge that we are weak and fragile before God despite our technological advancements. We turn towards to God so that he can work in us through his mercy and compassion. We also recognise our love for God and love for our neighbour. Hence it is a time for fixing our relationship with God.  

Lent means ‘spring’; it is a springtime where we are renewed and refreshed through the Lenten observances. We are washed clean so that we enter into paschal mysteries of Christ death and resurrection. The Latin based language use the word “Quaresma” for Lent, which simply means 40 days. After the baptism, Jesus was tempted and tried in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights whilst he was in prayer and fasting. Thus, the Church invites the faithful to reflect on one’s own life in order to be aware that we are also tempted in our every day life. Temptation is part of human life, but how do we deal with it, is more important than dwelling on the issue of temptation.

The four pillars of Lent, prayer, penance, almsgiving and fasting help not only the people in need but makes us empathise with the poor, in other words it makes us feel the pain of the needy; for instance, when we fast, we feel the hunger that a poor person goes through. These pillars help us to mend and to deepen our relationship with God. How am I going to observe these fourfold pillars? Jesus focuses on the aspect of humility in our Lenten observances. God knows our hearts and minds; therefore I need not showcase my Lenten observances. Hence Jesus’ words come true, those who humble themselves will be exalted and vice versa.

When we invite guests to our homes for dinner, we make sure we prepare well in advance with a careful style. Each of us is invited to prepare ourselves for Lent. We can prepare it spiritually and religiously with the four pillars as help. What is that God wants to give me or show during this Lent? As I deepen my relationship with God, subsequently God wants to show himself to me. Let me sit back and listen to His voice. Probably, God wants to give me something; a gift or may be God wants to free me from something that hinders my relationship with Him. It is important for me to open to His call to freedom. We need to identify the things that come between God and myself, hence erasing the block.

We are in an extremely fast growing world, where we don’t have much time to stand and stare. It is significant to find some time off for prayer, may be 10 minutes a day. In this busy world of ours, we are glued to our own little gadgets like smart phones, televisions, computer, Facebook, movies etc. It is significant for us to find some time for our own families. Can I eat one meal together with my own family, and share the fellowship as Jesus shared with His disciples on the Last Supper? Sacred Scripture help us understand the meaning of life. They give food for our thought and heart. Can I spend a few minutes to read the Sacred Scriptures? They nourish us and help us comprehend that the Love of God has. This Love will conquer our hearts and give energy move on in life.