Happy Marriage

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
...
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.♥

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore.♥ Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.♥
Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Source: Facebook

Murder of Father Darke: A versatile Jesuit priest in Guyana

The year before, in May 1979, the Working People's Alliance (WPA), a small anti-PNC political pressure group, which was making inroads into the PNC Afro-Guyanese support, declared itself a political party with the primary aim of removing the PNC from power. The WPA, of which Dr. Walter Rodney, a renowned Third World scholar and historian, was recognized as leader, worked very closely with the PPP in organizing the referendum boycott and in agitating against the PNC, even though it expressed tactical differences with the PPP in carrying out the struggle against the regime.

On the morning of July 11, 1979, the building housing the Ministry of National Development and the Office of the General Secretary of the PNC and the GUYSUCO building next to it were destroyed by fire. The government claimed that the fire was deliberately set and that the watchmen had been tied up and transported across Georgetown to a suburb on the East Coast, by men dressed in army uniforms. 

Subsequently, Dr. Rodney and other leading WPA members, Bonita Harris, Kwame Apata, Maurice Odle, Omawale, Rupert Roopnaraine, Karen, de Souza, Walter Rodney and Davo Nandlall, were questioned by the police and subsequently charged with arson.

On the morning of 14 July 1979, the WPA leaders, charged with arson, appeared at the Georgetown Magistrate Court on Brickdam to answer the charge. A WPA-organized protest demonstration was mounted outside the court and numerous press photographers were observing and snapping pictures. Among them was Father Bernard Darke, a Roman Catholic priest, who also took photos for the weekly Catholic Standard, and was also a high school teacher at the St. Stanislaus College located just across the street from the Magistrate Court. 

Fr. Darke, taking his cameras with him, had gone to the college that morning and he took some shots of the WPA demonstration outside the Magistrates’ Court and returned to the college. Shortly after, the WPA leaders, after being granted bail, were transported in a police van to the Camp Street prison where the police planned to release them away from the crowds. 

The WPA demonstrators marched with their pickets along Brickdam behind the van and, as they passed the college, Fr. Darke came out on the street to snap more photographs. Suddenly, as the demonstrators passed the Brickdam Police Station, they were attacked by a group of young men, carrying staves, cutlasses and knives. The assailants were members of the House of Israel. To escape the brutal attack, the demonstrators ran in all directions with many running into yards opposite the Police Station.

As people were attacked by the House of Israel thugs, Fr. Darke took photographs of what was happening. Then three of the gang turned on him and beat him with staves. As he ran towards the street corner, one of them then stabbed him with a bayonet in the back. Mike James, a journalist, and Jomo Yearwood, a bauxite worker, were also seriously wounded in separate attacks. Plainclothes policeman appearing on the scene fired two shots in the air to scatter the thugs and quickly made some arrests. 

The police took Fr. Darke to the Georgetown Public Hospital, where he was given immediate attention. He was later transferred to the St. Joseph’s Mercy Hospital and operated on by two surgeons to repair his damaged lung. However, at around 6:00 pm he died. 

Subsequently, five men, all members of the House of Israel, were convicted in court for carrying dangerous weapons during their attack. However, they were given barely minimum fines. One of them, Bilal Ato, who stabbed Fr. Darke was charged with murder. His trial came up three years later and he pleaded “not guilty of murder” but “guilty of manslaughter.” He was eventually sentenced by Justice Pompey to eight years in prison.


Courtesy: Guyana Journal: http://www.guyanajournal.com/guyana_1978-1980.html

Rastafarian's Zion Vs Babylon

A tall man with a cap that held the locks on his hair bemused me with his convinced knowledge about Rastafarianism. He claimed that he is an Ethiopian Orthodox and a Rastafarian. He challenged my faint knowledge about them with his pharisaic question to investigate my disposition towards them. I knew what exactly he was trying to extract from me. We spoke about lot of things, particularly about Catholicism in which he was baptised as an infant but unfortunately he found his way into a radical movement of the Ethiopian Orthodoxy. He was absolutely convinced that Haile Selassie I the emperor of Ethiopia (1930-74) is the reincarnation of Jesus Christ or the Trinity in the world. He expanded this by several bible quotes as usual particularly from the Book of Revelations, "And I heard the number of them which were sealed: and there were sealed a hundred and forty and four thousand of all the tribes of the children of Israel" (7:4). Jesus would return and inscribe his name on chosen ones' foreheads and Haile Selassie is on of them; a second coming of Christ or the coming of the holy spirit. He also tried to enlighten me about the Ethiopian Orthodoxy.

The Ethiopian Orthodoxy believes in two concepts Zion which is a good place and that is Ethiopia and Babylon which is the West which is evil kingdom. Their basis for the argument that Jesus is a black goes right back to the Old Testament where King Solomon has the queen from Sheba or Ethiopia. All the descendants from there have come from Ethiopia so did Jesus. Zion is promised land which is good thus they reject the Western world naming it Babylon which is corrupt. 

Rastafarian is movement began in Jamaica around the same year as the Emperor of Ethiopia came to power in 1930. Most Rastafarian would say that this not a religion rather its a way of life. This movement began from the Jamaican black slave culture. I was trying to figure out why do they reject the Western World. The only palpable reason I can think of for this is, Jamaican black slaves were under the oppression of British rule. They were taken slaves and treated with utmost inhuman way. This must have been a solid reason why they reject the Western World and proclaim as corrupt under the rubric of "Babylon". This is my opinion and not necessarily right. I am just proposing a premise which can be debated. Rejection of the Western world by the black community as corrupt is the apparent consequence of the long painful oppression by the powerful western domination. This can be the reason why even today black community has a certain enmity towards the white and this normal. I am sure it is far better than it used to be but as the years go by it will heal and one day the whole world sees each other brothers and sister. This is my dream too. 

There is awful lot of things that we can know about Rastafarians and the Ethiopian Orthodoxy. I just wanted to share my little knowledge about them in my blog. Oh by the way, the Rastafarian who challenged me as aforementioned became good friend of me later. They are lovely people if at all we have time to listen to them. They want to be listened and cared for as every one of us does. Can we just include them in our minds as brothers and sisters belonging to the family of human beings. 

Do we have time for Joshua Bell at Metro Station

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle-aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. Several other children repeated this action. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was they’re any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Source: The Washington Post

Are you good OR Evil? A Discovery into psychopath killers

Browsing the TV channels to find a fitting programme, came across a revealing and a pristine programme on BBC Two named "Are you good or Evil?" I found it extremely interesting with some of the new discoveries in the field of moral psychology. Main issue that I gathered from it was, why do behind bars killers and psychopaths succumb to violence? 

Children are born with good morality. Despite their limited growth of the brain, they choose good impulses as opposed to the bad impulses which is true. If a child discovers that someone is in pain, its basic impulse leads the child to show sympathy and affection. For instance if mother is sick, child does feel sympathy but it won't be able show the sympathy like adults. Thus the scientists in California have proved with few experiments that Children usually choose good moral impulses. 

The concept of "warrior genes" are present in some of the people. They are innate and genetic. But in the case of marines these warrior genes are trained and motivated. No marine or any humans would like to kill another human but marines are trained to posses these 'warrior genes' which makes them 'bloodless' humans who will be ready to kill the opponents. This may be the same case with the team sports. The team has to be trained to posses these warrior genes in order to fight against their opponent team. Therefore in this circumstances these genes are inflicted. In the process they loose their basic moral impulse they had in their childhood. Could we place terrorists and suicide bombers in this category where they are trained in warrior genes? 

Scientist Prof. Jim Fallon learns from an extensive experiments with the psychopaths from the behind bars that the violent criminals and psychopaths have or inherit "warrior genes" by birth. They are unique people with some little impulsive disorder. These warrior genes take priority in their lives. Their genes feed on the abuses and bad experiences these children have in their childhood. And they grow to be violent with having nourished their warrior genes. This triggers their brain to act in a different manner. They don't feel but they think. Any feeling is the same feeling for this, whether its rape, or a table, its the same. This is an extraordinary problem which leads them to act violently event to the extreme of killing other fellow humans. If at all they had been treated well in their childhood they would have turned out to be good people as it happened to the scientist Jim himself who is supposed be having a warrior gene but he was well taken care of in his childhood. 

Criminal activities or violence is done not from their free will. As hitherto mentioned through their difficult upbringing the free will vanishes and warrior gene dominates. This ultimately takes over their lives leading them to commit criminal acts. Therefore as children they have to be care for with utmost tenderness and love. The "warrior gene"s have to be treated in the sense recognised by some means and treated appropriately. 

Hence we have to understand why people are behind bars. Do we think they really want to be behind bars and not experience the light? Do we think that they have murdered or raped because they really wanted to be? I think above scientific discovery will throw much light on the afore mentioned questions. This will pave a path to proper criminal justice system and judge according to their ability to commit the crime not just the act of crime. Parents have to be more careful in handling their tender children. 

One Emerging Economic Power

India is one of the developing and emerging global economic power. Everyone eyes at India as it rightly projects to the West as one of economy generating power. Most companies veer or at least aspire to base their business outsourcing in India. There are umpteen call centres and BPO's all over India. It is obvious from a global perspective to think that the India is flourishing in economy. The multinational firms have showcased in the global market that India is absolutely a developing economy. This has lured the multimillionaires to set up their partnership with Indian firms, which is not bad in itself but analysing further opens our eyes to the fact that business outsourcing creates a small amount of work for Indians and generates enormous profit for the partnered company. It all looks very glossy and bewitching at the periphery even at times seduces the Indian masses to take on the multinational businesses.

As I walk in the streets of London I feel proud to be an Indian because everyone thinks Indians are wealthy. News papers report about the latest economic figures as soaring at a faster rate. Is this factual? Are we so rich as Indians or is it only some of us are rich in India? Does the world know that at least 38% of the population lives below the poverty line? Does the media and business world show the slums of Mumbai or just the multimillion house of Mr. Mukesh Ambani? It is all a scintillating irony when I tune into news channels. There are numerous issues, that India as a nation should be liable for showing the world that it is an emerging economy. Look at our neighbour China; do we really know the economy of China? Every tiny or large material I touch in the Market is Chinese made. Media might show the enormous growth China is pursuing but China has a way of keeping its home secrets home.

Let us probe in depth into the economic well being of India. I am proud to be a part of emerging global economic power, but my question is; do we really showcase it when we have voluminous issues being swept under the carpet? Our GDP is pretty consistent and there is a significant growth; as for May 2011 it is Rs.12,61,664 crore, and GDP per capita income is $ 3,608.196. Our GDP growth rate as for May 2011 is 8.82%. GDP per capita income is so significant to measure the wealth of the people in a country. Now this is a measure, as you know by averaging the GDP of the country. I am apprehensive about the whole business of averaging. How can someone average the mass wealth of the nation and procure the wealth or income of the all the people in a country? Does it provide the real figures, since there is huge gap between the poor chaiwala and Ambani's. Now the misery of the low-income earners is doubled, since there is a significant growth in the inflation rate. As for March 2011, inflation rate is 8.82%. Does this inflation help the poor? Price of rice (staple food for most Indians) go up by even 5% will result in forgoing a meal among the poor. I am sure people around the world can figure out these figures, I am no mathematician. Economic figures do show the reality but reality shown on an exotic media can favour the rich to amass more wealth, in other words media advertises the multimillion firms further. Thence I am apprehensive in believing the figures as real. They are just figures for me.

A couple of months ago the Guardian (national news paper of England) had a whole page dedicated to showcase Mr. Mukesh Ambani's expensive house. It was rated the most expensive house in the world. I was thrilled to read that India has the 4th richest man in the planet and can live in an ever expensive house but I am also aware that India has the poorest people in the world and live on the streets to pass the night with no choice left. I used to work in the slums in Ramwadi, in Pune, who struggled to meet their both ends of their lives. They lived in an absolute miserable condition along the sewage canal that carried awful stink and bred mosquitoes spread endemic infections like malaria, dengue, cholera and so on. Their children were sickly because of the malnutrition. On the other hand, there were huge multimillion buildings like Gold ad labs, McDonald’s right next to the slum. I don't have to blabber on this after giving an extensive glance at the reality of India.

Thus, are Indians really rich? I would emphatically opine that a few Indians are rich but most Indians are poor and very often living below the poverty line. Mr Obama made a few trade deals with India; everyone was fascinated with the idea. How does this new trade deal help the people in the slum and remote villages, for instance the deal of Obama includes jet aircrafts, Do you think an ordinary person can afford flying in India? Let me leave at that allowing Indians to ponder on their glory gained from the global arena. Let me also emphasise that India as a whole is indeed a poor country. Time has come not to brood over the false glory from the economic figures rather open our eyes to see the poorest of the poor in the stinking slums and streets of our country.  

Cricket: The Religion taught by the English

India is a cradle of religions. Religious diversity makes India a unique nation with umpteen problems surrounding religions. This is because Indians are passionate about the religion they belong. It gives each one his/her own identity. Cricket is a unifying factor for India. Everyone adores cricket. Cricket makes people overlook their religious disparities. The only one thing that can unite Indians is Cricket, because it crosses the boundaries of religion, caste, creed, nationality, and colour.

Origins of Cricket go back to the Dark Ages, after Roman Empire and before the Normans invaded England. Game was played from an old and uncomplicated pastime entertainment by which one player served a wooden piece or a ball and the other player hit with a club. We have no apposite evidence for this. But during the time of the Tudors, cricket evolved far enough from club-ball to be recognisable game as it’s played today and was played in many parts of Kent, Sussex, and Surrey. There are a few smidgens of Cricket being mentioned in Florio’s Italian-English dictionary in 1598. In 1676 British residents in Aleppo, Syria appeared to have played cricket first time abroad. After which cricket became a leisure time sport for the English. Therefore, world owes England for its foundations.

India should be ever indebted to English for introducing cricket through the British Raj. Cricket came to India through the “British East India Company”. The company founded the city of Madras in 1661, an important passage for the British merchants. In 1661, the company acquired Portuguese territory, including Bombay. In 1690 Anglo-Mughal treaty allowed English Merchants to establish business in Calcutta. These above places became major cricket centres and the interest for cricket grew among the native people. Calcutta Cricket and Football club is seemed to have existed since then.

 

English Sailors from the company appeared to have chronicled in 1737 that the First class cricket was played in Cambay, near Baroda in 1721 for the first time. Officially in the year 1893 Indian cricket was given the first class status. In 1889-90, the first ever-foreign team to play in India was the English team led by George Vernon. And in 1892-93, two seasons of first class cricket was played between Europeans Versus Parsees in Bombay. In the same season Lord Hawke led the English team to play four first class matches in Poona.

It is needless to say that the cricket in India has grown leaps and bounds in the last century and India has been added with laurel in the form of World Cup in 1983. More importantly, cricket marries the hearts and minds of Indians, irrespective of their religions. This has impacted colossally on religious tolerance. Ruptured India apparently unites under one religion called “Cricket.” Hence, we Indians are incredibly grateful to the English for leaving the legacy of cricket. Thank you Britain. Let the power of sports unite the minds and heart of people to make this world a better place without any discrimination.